Community

And no, not the hilarious TV show.

Sitting across the table from some loved faces in our favorite restaurant a few months ago, I realized something about true community. 

It's hard.

I know a lot of us know that, with our minds. Some of us, myself included, have experienced this "hardness" in the form of betrayal and unnecessary pain inflicted by those we're attempting to be in community with. That's not exactly what I'm talking about. 

Yes, there is pain, and it is often hard. But it is also good, and true. 

In this particular instance, the mouths on the other side of the booth weren't saying things I really wanted to hear. They weren't even saying things I necessarily agreed with. In fact, they were saying things that caused pain. 

And yet, because of the relationship our families have with each other, because of the time we've spent supporting each other during some of our darkest times in the last year or two- their words had a certain medicinal quality, a balm for the soul.

Not very many people in my life have loved me in a way that intentionally challenges me as a natural result of a knit-together relationship with them. I've been challenged out of authority, out of "mentorship," out of other things- none of which are bad in themselves.

But the people facing me in the booth that day are among the few that I call "true heart-friends." Those are the words that make sense to me to describe those in my life with whom I've experienced true community. 

We may differ in ideologies, in methodologies, but our hearts are one. Their kids are my kids, their pain is my pain, and their rejoicing is mine. 

I'll be honest, their words stung. My pride flared up. Fight or flight reflexes made my fists clench and voice tremble for a few moments, but even in that moment I knew I was experiencing beauty. The beauty of brothers and sisters living out true community, even when it's not easy and maybe neither of you is completely right. 

As we settle into life in direct community with another couple under one roof, I pray that those are the kinds of relationships we cultivate. That we share those droughts and earthquakes and beautiful fall days, and take the risk of pressing in. 

And I pray that you let yourself find true heart-friends as well.