Mental Illness, Skrillex, & You

This is not about me. 

I want that to be very clear.

This week, I learned of the suicide of someone I went to church with as a kid. While he and I were not close personally, our families are linked by multiple ties. My heart breaks for him and his family, and the last thing I want is to make this about me and my feelings and how this affects me. This time is for those close to him to have space to grieve.

That being said, I just can't hold this in.

I'm compelled to write because of how important I believe this statement to be:


Mental health matters.


When I was in high school, one of my classmates killed himself. We started that year with 36 seniors, and ended it with 35.

Two years ago, one of my husband's best friends killed himself after a lifetime of struggling with multiple mental disorders. I think of him every time I go running. 

Another of my close friends is dealing with anxiety that has sent him to the ER recently and often inhibits his daily functioning and routines.

I read a story recently about a friend of a friend of a friend's daughter (twice removed) who was experiencing a series of medication-induced manic episodes that were misinterpreted by those around her as spiritual revelations.

I myself struggle with depression that I can identify by the times when routine tasks seem too burdensome. Tasks like folding laundry, returning a phone call...getting off the couch.

Mental health issues are all around us.

I've seen this cartoon circulating recently, with the caption: "What if People Treated Physical Illness Like Mental Illness?"

Mental health issues are all around us, and yet, we still talk about it in whispers. We'd be embarrassed if anyone found out. We're afraid of the repercussions we'd experience if certain people knew.

My question is: Why? 

Recently, I went for a run (one of the ways I preemptively guard against hours of couch-sitting) and was listening to the playlist I've put together to motivate and focus myself for the challenge at hand. The artists range from Gungor to Imagine Dragons to...yep, Skrillex. One of these things is not like the others.

In the particular song that came on as I was winding down, this line hit me:

 "You don't need to hide, my friend, for I'm just like you."

Issues relating to dysfunction in the mind have been pretty taboo for a while, but the more I think about it, the less I'm convinced that they actually are still taboo. I think people just think they are. But the truth is, so many of us are experiencing it in some form or another, and so many more of us care deeply about someone who is experiencing it. 

Even if we can't fix it. Even if we don't understand it. 

So how can we make it better?

I say let's start by being more honest with ourselves and with each other. To those who are in the Church, I say let's start by listening and loving. End of list. 

Start there, and continue by encouraging those who need help to get it, without causing them to feel shame.

Get rid of the stigma. 

When you're sick, you go to the doctor. That's it.

Which also means I have to be willing to go to the doctor myself when I need to.

Let's give each other a break, give each other what we need to be our best selves. 

For now, let's pray for those who are grieving - hurt with those who hurt. 

But maybe, eventually...fewer people will have to hurt because of this kind of loss.

And that's all I have to say about that.