My Other Anniversary

"Shortly after her wedding in June 2010, my friend Meg pointed this picture out to me, taken by her sister-in-law Amanda. That's me leaning over in the background, and we both had a good (and I mean, tears were running down my face, it was so good) laugh about how well this photo represented my life at that time. But over the next few days, I kept thinking about it, and thinking about how it is an almost perfect picture of what had been going on with me for the 4-6 months preceding July 16th (yes, I will probably always remember that date) of 2010:

Straining to hear.

A look of total confusion and concentration on my face.

Also significant is how blurry I am, because that's pretty much how everything had looked to me for a few months.

For those of you who don't know the story, and right now are as confused as I look in the picture, here's a bite-sized version. Granted it would be a very large bite, but still:

About a month or so before our wedding in April 2010, I started experiencing some weird symptoms that came from out of no where and gradually got worse, to the point that I was describing above. Plus occasional random vomiting, severe headaches, and balance issues. It was utterly frustrating and depressing for me given the fact that we were on our first big adventure as a married couple (working at a lodge in Alaska for the summer), and I was both unable and unmotivated to do most of the adventuresome things I wanted to do, in addition to the everyday stuff that became difficult. Interacting with people became an embarrassing chore as I would see the look of annoyance pass over their faces when I repeatedly asked "what?" and strained to hear.

We tried to figure out what the problem was as it got progressively worse. I saw a chiropractor for several weeks, noticed a bit of improvement in the headaches (which promptly returned after about a week of relief), and then after a scary uncontrollable falling episode, decided to see a general practitioner to see if she had any ideas about what could possibly be going on.

(Insert a few days and superfluous details here that I will happily tell if one really wants to know.)

I was sent to have an MRI done and was told that it would probably be a few days before I knew the results unless something significant requiring immediate attention showed up. In that case they would notify the doctor right away, who would then notify me right away. I wasn't even halfway back to the lodge from having the MRI done when I got the doctor's call saying, "You have a very large cyst that is putting a LOT of pressure on your brain. I've called ahead to a hospital in Anchorage and arranged an emergency procedure for you either tonight or tomorrow morning. If this isn't taken care of very soon, you could potentially have a seizure and go into a coma."

So we went to Anchorage. I had emergency brain surgery. We felt, almost tangibly, enveloped by the prayers of people all around the country and the world, as both our families spread the word to other friends and family. I immediately noticed restoration of my hearing and balance, and the absence of headaches (minus the pain from the incision), and was told that my vision, while noticeably better, was going to take a little bit more time to fully return to normal as my brain and optic nerve healed from its pressurized state.

Fast forward to now: I am 100% recovered, experiencing NONE of the symptoms I was having before. And I am thankful.

Thankful to God for not only taking care of us, but for doing so in an overwhelming way, and for using this situation to strengthen mine and Tim's faith and our very young marriage.

Thankful for a husband who took incredible care of me, not only around the time of the surgery, but during all the frustrating months leading up to it. And who is still taking incredible care of me throughout all the emotional repercussions I've experienced after the fact (sounds overly-dramatic, I know, but it was a pretty traumatic time for me and I've had to work through it more than just physically). I love you, my Tim.

Thankful for the excellent doctors, surgeons, and nurses who were all a part of the process of me getting better. And for the crappy ones, too, since they were still part of the process. But seriously, we had some great ones that I will always be grateful to.

Thankful for the Minatra family who drove me to the doctor, to my MRI, and eventually to the hospital, all of which are 1.5 to 3 hour drives, one-way. They even went home for the night and came back in the morning to be with Tim during my actual surgery. And THEN they took Tim and I into their cozy home for the few days after I got out of the hospital and before we flew down to Houston to fully recover.

Thankful for my family who hugged me so tight when I saw them again that I could literally feel how much they loved me and how relieved they were to be seeing me in person, and not in a coma, standing right in front of them. And who welcomed us back to stay in their home and fed us and loved on us for about a month before we made the trek back up to Michigan.

Thankful for everyone who prayed, gave financially, brought food, sent cards, left comments, encouraged, and hugged us.

And, of course, thankful that this picture no longer describes me."

...or this picture. Pre-surgery. Note large, dark round spot in the middle that's not supposed to be there.

(Note: This was originally written at the one year anniversary of my surgery, and every year around this time I pull it out to remember and celebrate God's faithfulness.)